my mistakes

Duh. my blog suppose to be a blog to promote positivity - -' but somehow it has turned out to be..some kinda feeling expressing blog or someting. well watever. i dun really give a fuk since no people really read my blog other den my gf = =''

well.. somehow i have changed.. based on wut my bestfren said.. well ov cuz only she noticed since we actually always talk about things like.. need to think alot kinda things.. i was a good thinker.. i wanto be one again.. i must do more readings i guess.

uh.. my interest to physics somehow has become.. worst? watever. but somehow i always talk about physics nowadays = =' shit.

UMS bus.. haih.. go back early for holiday.. nvm lah i understand.. but still.. dey r sabahan after all.. y hafta go back damn early n stop following d schedule. our parents pay their salary - -;;

last raya. i was damn happy about being able to meet my family n besties. i really feel Raya when i am far away from family is d meaningful kinda raya.. not like wat it used to be. raya=sleep=eat=watch stupid movies.

now i am back in ums. for 3 days i stayed wif her in her houz ^^ yeah its hard to control d lust > < but somehow i can i guess.. i prayed times per day wif no miss in a mosque! i want to start not to miss prayers so tat Allah will oways help me > <
i am oways unlucky n i wanna get lucky.

uh. i finished writing d hadith. my life aint interesting >< i must go to more place

my new dream=discovering d seas by using a boat n go to weird islands!

its been awhile

yeah.. its been a long while since i write sumting here.. really.. i cant tahan ady..

i keep on thinking on how to kill tis shitty suckness in me..

ride motor=fail
being a gud boyfren=dunnoo.. fail i guess..
gud student=far from reality..

blah3.. d events PJsr just finish.. n now i am going to face 2 midterms widout having a sleep.. siao eh? but wat to do.. too bz with event.. i wont join ady.. no more events.. really..

i wanto focus on my study n her.. i wanto make her trust me.. have faith in me..
take me as her best guy.. but i might be just a rubbish to her.. maybe.. i hope she wont leave me.. i wont know wat to do if she did tat.. i am doomed,dead,stunt,pwned,slowed,attacked,poisoned,blah3.. most important is i will kena rampage..

i just love her so much.. i am totally blind already.. close my eyes and c her face..

she wants me to celebrate her birthday with someting kinda memorable or someting.. yeah i have no xperience on tis.. but i did plan n i will try my best to do it according to d plan.. but seems like she doesnt care.. well.. who am i anyway..

2010-3rd sem

exam has finished.. people went back to their hometown.. including her.. i go back kinda late.. so gotta spend my time here in ums d so hai place quite few days after d exam finised and worst alone > <"

haih. i miss her de.. when can c her.. d nitemare has begin.. 2 month away.. walaw.. maybe its only me who feel dat way..

i wanto go back n work.. i wanto gain money.. i know liao how it feels when there is no money left wif me..

i wanto stop smoking too.. but.. it seems veryvery hard.. maybe d hardest thing i ever do in my life..

oh ya d celcom has done quite a so hai job.. i cant online for almost a week. wow.. a week.. wat for i pay full o.. omg.. shit..

i am kinda useless nowadays.. dunno wats d purpose of me being borned in dis woorld > <" maybe juz to do fei chai n die.. haih.. nothing much i can do.. no talent.. know nothing.. if read also den d info will be interesting..but only to me.. no one to be told..

suck.. my english oso same. suck.. bye

haih.. i dunno y but i lost my confidence again.. i dun like dis feeling of everytime go play guitar,i will say i am noob.. everytime go wushu i will say i am noob.. when people say me stupid i will just agree.. even thou i noe dey r juz kidding.. i will say to maself dat its serious.. i am oso getting clumsier.. oways want fall down.. oways cant balance maself.. cant even squat properly..

me n ching yan our love seems like getting deepr.. but i am worried bout her family.. everyday oso sure will got time when i will think about their culture.. which i dunno if its against d rules of islam or not..

i can change my lifestyle n everyday language n stop smoking n my eating habits n my gaming habits n my duwan-to-get-rich principle.. but i wont change my religion.. i cant find any other religions logical enuf..

no offense..

i dun believe in d tukang tilik nasib.. i dun believe we can pray on things dat we build it ourselve.. better just pray on ur computer if u think ur computer is li hai enuf.. NO OFFENSE. its my view. i cant c anywhre in cloud or leaves or animals skin or anyting showing d prove of any other religion being righteous to be believed in..

i wont talk much liao bout tis..

if i dun get to be wif her.. i dunno.. maybe i will just live as a family guy.. take care of my parents n siblings.. live for em.. or be a workaholic.. work2 n live a lame life.. get rich or no rich doesnt mtter to me if i cant be wif her.. for wat go travel alone.. or maybe i will go learn all those weird2 martial arts.. n go join martial art championship or someting.. i dunno.. i cant predict future.. its unpredictable.. if its possible to predict the future.. i ady go to those tukang tilik ask tilik for me if my life will be successful n how i will die n when world is going to end n most important is THE EXAM ANWERS. No offense to those who believe tukang tilik nasib. i dunno wats it in english. shaman? watever.

i wanto therapy ma body.. so dat my left cacat leg will be ok.. den i can be more stable.. but i dunno if its possible.. haih..

yeah.. 3 dinners in a row.. wat d fuck. 2 of em ady goat damn boring. tx god d wushu one is a bit better.. at least i get to go to a new place..

y some humans r racist.. i cant understand em.. i am mix. so i dun belong to any culture. i live as a muslim. a retarded one. y talk english will mAKE Malays stereotype me as a guy dat forget d malay culture? i dun even belong to their culture. y my skin is dark n i talk english n i cant understand mandarin very well den d chinese can talk bad to me from behind or worst in front of me? fuck u all racist. i wanto diao u mal&*@ians..

if i cant be wif her.. n after i take care of my family.. n dey all go wif their way.. get married n stuff.. maybe i will go to somewhre far.. where i can live by myself.. dunno do wat.. just act like relax.. even thou i onli have half of my life..

i think i gotta get back n start study.. n during holiday study again all religions..

it seems like i have sacrificed my interest in dota.. for d sake of ching yan.. d first sacrifice.. i am totally rusted in playing dat.. cant play dy..

i have many interest dat cant be fulfilled..
i like to play guitar. but no talent.
i like to play wushu. do beautiful performance. but no talent. everyting i do look ugly n i am a slow learner..
i like to take pictures.. but i dun have money to get a quality camera dat will fulfil wat pictures i wanto take exactly..
i like to train lian.. but it seems like i am d weakest in d community.. maybe my bro surpass me liao..
i wanto have more height.. but i am short..
i wanto have more money.. but our family oways be d victims of sick jealous bastards..
i wanto have a licence.. but my dad doesnt allow me to take one..
i wanto learn qi gong n inner energy.. but cant.. not allowed..
i wanto draw better.. but i dun have d chance to learn..
i wanto study wat i am interested in.. but i dun even have interest to study..
i wanto stop smoking.. but i dunno wat is stopping me from quitting..


till now.. i cant really do anyting better den others.. haih. noob.

y i like ching yan?
she can makes me laugh like how i laugh wif guys when dey make crazy jokes.. not like other gals.. dat just noe how to laugh..
she is cute.. n getting cuter day by day.. or minutes by minutes.. or second by second..
i like her skin colour.. its so damn.. i dunno wat to say. its very nice easy said.
i like it when she is very nice to me.. sporting..
but tis are d reasons dat i manage to think about after she asked me y i love her..

i dun think there is a reason to fall in love.. as long as its human.. n its a girl.. dat i fell in love to..

maybe i am not a grateful human being.. by posting tis.. but hey.. tis is ma blog.. i can write watever i wanto write..

I NEED A PUNCH BAG

FINAL is goatdamn near.. n i haven touch my book n i dun even noe when d exam start.. shit.. die lah..

bye bye. NO OFFENSE. i just feel like writing someting which are sensitive to some people today widout any reason. n i dun care. got people dun like? i dun give a damn shit. i am damn open minded. but i have my limits n my principles. I LOVE MY GIRL.

zhe ge libai, wo kan san ge dianying he wo de bao bei. clash of d titans.train2 dragon. haiyou daybreaker. hen hao kan. yin wei wo he yan qu kan ^^

yeah 1 b is like my di er de jia le. but nvm XD tis week wo men will start du shu liao.

haha. yeah i want train wo de hua yu. wo yao pikat ching yan de mama. i know i can!! i wan be successful n prove her family relative n all dat i am d best guy for ching yan!!

haih. but kemahiran berundng haven finish de.. d assignment i meant.. i no mood liao do any assignment. dis is all due to d damn reports n h.e. haih.

yeah. gang ayam contact me less liao. d chinese gang oso oni contact me if dey wnt sumtin from me. gang sabah. yeah. i oways wif d alfred lol. he teaches me wan guitar ^^ nice!!!!

i want master guitar.. but i need one singer.. i cant sing while playing guitar. i dunno y i am so suck. i should have learn d goatdamn bass since d beginning. haih. nvm lah. learn learn learn!!!!!!! dis week is d last week to play guitar like heck!!

my fingers. yeah. all become think n hard dy due to d guitar.. i like it XP

wo hen lao liao. wo bu neng memorize na ge wushu de pattern. san duan. nan quan. chang quan. all i forgot. even d che kong fan lol. now i am like a new student. fuckkk!!!!

shui bian lah. i just learn again. learn learn learn. we stop learning things oni when we die lol.

i wan be successful. but my term of succesful is by being able to travel to d place dat i want n being able to be wif d one i love. d ONE. not d two four or 3. damn retarded. wat d heck 2 4 3. it should be 2 3 4. but d most important is i have oni one. one God. one Parents. one 情缘。。。 i have oni one origin.. oni one planet.. one universe.. one brain.. one dick.. watever..

i am also will be satisfy when i can stop working n open a small martial art school or watever n teach d small2 kids da kong fu ^^ but yeah.. its mine.. mine aint going to satisfy others.. i might be happy.. wadabout those around me? haih.. humans are borned
not perfect... how d heck can i make everybody satisfy n happy oso? if there is love,sure there is hate.. haih..

yeah.. evryting dat i said will happen in reverse ^^ it suks. but i am somehow kinda manage to get maself used to it.. watever..

yeah once i crap,i cant stop. better i stop b4 i accidentaly write a novel or story book or worst encyclopedia of crap. not britanica but kimtanica.. bye

hurm. yeah. i finish most of my asignments. now can hang out in my fren's room dy. b4 starting to study nxt week. haish. n den finish exam. go back k.l. work. 2 month wont see her. wah sai. gonna miss her bad..

nowadays she is so damn bz. i was too ^^" but my bz phase done dy. haha. nvm. jia you lah to her.

i hate to do laundry. i hate it d most. among my routine,i hate it d most. laundry.

i am going to do my laundry. d effing laundry. but i duwan to do it. shit. asshole shirt. why cant u be clean all d time. damn.

haih. but anyway. gotta wash it lol. if not end up getting skin disease. n den my girlfren will leave me. wakaka!!

btw.. i dunno if i will go out from dis uni as a full wif quality de student. haih. d system of studies in malaysia university seems so suck. even d teacher love to do last minute shit. how d heck d student no follow? damn.

byebye for now. K<3y