haih.. i dunno y but i lost my confidence again.. i dun like dis feeling of everytime go play guitar,i will say i am noob.. everytime go wushu i will say i am noob.. when people say me stupid i will just agree.. even thou i noe dey r juz kidding.. i will say to maself dat its serious.. i am oso getting clumsier.. oways want fall down.. oways cant balance maself.. cant even squat properly..

me n ching yan our love seems like getting deepr.. but i am worried bout her family.. everyday oso sure will got time when i will think about their culture.. which i dunno if its against d rules of islam or not..

i can change my lifestyle n everyday language n stop smoking n my eating habits n my gaming habits n my duwan-to-get-rich principle.. but i wont change my religion.. i cant find any other religions logical enuf..

no offense..

i dun believe in d tukang tilik nasib.. i dun believe we can pray on things dat we build it ourselve.. better just pray on ur computer if u think ur computer is li hai enuf.. NO OFFENSE. its my view. i cant c anywhre in cloud or leaves or animals skin or anyting showing d prove of any other religion being righteous to be believed in..

i wont talk much liao bout tis..

if i dun get to be wif her.. i dunno.. maybe i will just live as a family guy.. take care of my parents n siblings.. live for em.. or be a workaholic.. work2 n live a lame life.. get rich or no rich doesnt mtter to me if i cant be wif her.. for wat go travel alone.. or maybe i will go learn all those weird2 martial arts.. n go join martial art championship or someting.. i dunno.. i cant predict future.. its unpredictable.. if its possible to predict the future.. i ady go to those tukang tilik ask tilik for me if my life will be successful n how i will die n when world is going to end n most important is THE EXAM ANWERS. No offense to those who believe tukang tilik nasib. i dunno wats it in english. shaman? watever.

i wanto therapy ma body.. so dat my left cacat leg will be ok.. den i can be more stable.. but i dunno if its possible.. haih..

yeah.. 3 dinners in a row.. wat d fuck. 2 of em ady goat damn boring. tx god d wushu one is a bit better.. at least i get to go to a new place..

y some humans r racist.. i cant understand em.. i am mix. so i dun belong to any culture. i live as a muslim. a retarded one. y talk english will mAKE Malays stereotype me as a guy dat forget d malay culture? i dun even belong to their culture. y my skin is dark n i talk english n i cant understand mandarin very well den d chinese can talk bad to me from behind or worst in front of me? fuck u all racist. i wanto diao u mal&*@ians..

if i cant be wif her.. n after i take care of my family.. n dey all go wif their way.. get married n stuff.. maybe i will go to somewhre far.. where i can live by myself.. dunno do wat.. just act like relax.. even thou i onli have half of my life..

i think i gotta get back n start study.. n during holiday study again all religions..

it seems like i have sacrificed my interest in dota.. for d sake of ching yan.. d first sacrifice.. i am totally rusted in playing dat.. cant play dy..

i have many interest dat cant be fulfilled..
i like to play guitar. but no talent.
i like to play wushu. do beautiful performance. but no talent. everyting i do look ugly n i am a slow learner..
i like to take pictures.. but i dun have money to get a quality camera dat will fulfil wat pictures i wanto take exactly..
i like to train lian.. but it seems like i am d weakest in d community.. maybe my bro surpass me liao..
i wanto have more height.. but i am short..
i wanto have more money.. but our family oways be d victims of sick jealous bastards..
i wanto have a licence.. but my dad doesnt allow me to take one..
i wanto learn qi gong n inner energy.. but cant.. not allowed..
i wanto draw better.. but i dun have d chance to learn..
i wanto study wat i am interested in.. but i dun even have interest to study..
i wanto stop smoking.. but i dunno wat is stopping me from quitting..


till now.. i cant really do anyting better den others.. haih. noob.

y i like ching yan?
she can makes me laugh like how i laugh wif guys when dey make crazy jokes.. not like other gals.. dat just noe how to laugh..
she is cute.. n getting cuter day by day.. or minutes by minutes.. or second by second..
i like her skin colour.. its so damn.. i dunno wat to say. its very nice easy said.
i like it when she is very nice to me.. sporting..
but tis are d reasons dat i manage to think about after she asked me y i love her..

i dun think there is a reason to fall in love.. as long as its human.. n its a girl.. dat i fell in love to..

maybe i am not a grateful human being.. by posting tis.. but hey.. tis is ma blog.. i can write watever i wanto write..

I NEED A PUNCH BAG

FINAL is goatdamn near.. n i haven touch my book n i dun even noe when d exam start.. shit.. die lah..

bye bye. NO OFFENSE. i just feel like writing someting which are sensitive to some people today widout any reason. n i dun care. got people dun like? i dun give a damn shit. i am damn open minded. but i have my limits n my principles. I LOVE MY GIRL.