my mistakes

Duh. my blog suppose to be a blog to promote positivity - -' but somehow it has turned out to be..some kinda feeling expressing blog or someting. well watever. i dun really give a fuk since no people really read my blog other den my gf = =''

well.. somehow i have changed.. based on wut my bestfren said.. well ov cuz only she noticed since we actually always talk about things like.. need to think alot kinda things.. i was a good thinker.. i wanto be one again.. i must do more readings i guess.

uh.. my interest to physics somehow has become.. worst? watever. but somehow i always talk about physics nowadays = =' shit.

UMS bus.. haih.. go back early for holiday.. nvm lah i understand.. but still.. dey r sabahan after all.. y hafta go back damn early n stop following d schedule. our parents pay their salary - -;;

last raya. i was damn happy about being able to meet my family n besties. i really feel Raya when i am far away from family is d meaningful kinda raya.. not like wat it used to be. raya=sleep=eat=watch stupid movies.

now i am back in ums. for 3 days i stayed wif her in her houz ^^ yeah its hard to control d lust > < but somehow i can i guess.. i prayed times per day wif no miss in a mosque! i want to start not to miss prayers so tat Allah will oways help me > <
i am oways unlucky n i wanna get lucky.

uh. i finished writing d hadith. my life aint interesting >< i must go to more place

my new dream=discovering d seas by using a boat n go to weird islands!

its been awhile

yeah.. its been a long while since i write sumting here.. really.. i cant tahan ady..

i keep on thinking on how to kill tis shitty suckness in me..

ride motor=fail
being a gud boyfren=dunnoo.. fail i guess..
gud student=far from reality..

blah3.. d events PJsr just finish.. n now i am going to face 2 midterms widout having a sleep.. siao eh? but wat to do.. too bz with event.. i wont join ady.. no more events.. really..

i wanto focus on my study n her.. i wanto make her trust me.. have faith in me..
take me as her best guy.. but i might be just a rubbish to her.. maybe.. i hope she wont leave me.. i wont know wat to do if she did tat.. i am doomed,dead,stunt,pwned,slowed,attacked,poisoned,blah3.. most important is i will kena rampage..

i just love her so much.. i am totally blind already.. close my eyes and c her face..

she wants me to celebrate her birthday with someting kinda memorable or someting.. yeah i have no xperience on tis.. but i did plan n i will try my best to do it according to d plan.. but seems like she doesnt care.. well.. who am i anyway..

2010-3rd sem

exam has finished.. people went back to their hometown.. including her.. i go back kinda late.. so gotta spend my time here in ums d so hai place quite few days after d exam finised and worst alone > <"

haih. i miss her de.. when can c her.. d nitemare has begin.. 2 month away.. walaw.. maybe its only me who feel dat way..

i wanto go back n work.. i wanto gain money.. i know liao how it feels when there is no money left wif me..

i wanto stop smoking too.. but.. it seems veryvery hard.. maybe d hardest thing i ever do in my life..

oh ya d celcom has done quite a so hai job.. i cant online for almost a week. wow.. a week.. wat for i pay full o.. omg.. shit..

i am kinda useless nowadays.. dunno wats d purpose of me being borned in dis woorld > <" maybe juz to do fei chai n die.. haih.. nothing much i can do.. no talent.. know nothing.. if read also den d info will be interesting..but only to me.. no one to be told..

suck.. my english oso same. suck.. bye

haih.. i dunno y but i lost my confidence again.. i dun like dis feeling of everytime go play guitar,i will say i am noob.. everytime go wushu i will say i am noob.. when people say me stupid i will just agree.. even thou i noe dey r juz kidding.. i will say to maself dat its serious.. i am oso getting clumsier.. oways want fall down.. oways cant balance maself.. cant even squat properly..

me n ching yan our love seems like getting deepr.. but i am worried bout her family.. everyday oso sure will got time when i will think about their culture.. which i dunno if its against d rules of islam or not..

i can change my lifestyle n everyday language n stop smoking n my eating habits n my gaming habits n my duwan-to-get-rich principle.. but i wont change my religion.. i cant find any other religions logical enuf..

no offense..

i dun believe in d tukang tilik nasib.. i dun believe we can pray on things dat we build it ourselve.. better just pray on ur computer if u think ur computer is li hai enuf.. NO OFFENSE. its my view. i cant c anywhre in cloud or leaves or animals skin or anyting showing d prove of any other religion being righteous to be believed in..

i wont talk much liao bout tis..

if i dun get to be wif her.. i dunno.. maybe i will just live as a family guy.. take care of my parents n siblings.. live for em.. or be a workaholic.. work2 n live a lame life.. get rich or no rich doesnt mtter to me if i cant be wif her.. for wat go travel alone.. or maybe i will go learn all those weird2 martial arts.. n go join martial art championship or someting.. i dunno.. i cant predict future.. its unpredictable.. if its possible to predict the future.. i ady go to those tukang tilik ask tilik for me if my life will be successful n how i will die n when world is going to end n most important is THE EXAM ANWERS. No offense to those who believe tukang tilik nasib. i dunno wats it in english. shaman? watever.

i wanto therapy ma body.. so dat my left cacat leg will be ok.. den i can be more stable.. but i dunno if its possible.. haih..

yeah.. 3 dinners in a row.. wat d fuck. 2 of em ady goat damn boring. tx god d wushu one is a bit better.. at least i get to go to a new place..

y some humans r racist.. i cant understand em.. i am mix. so i dun belong to any culture. i live as a muslim. a retarded one. y talk english will mAKE Malays stereotype me as a guy dat forget d malay culture? i dun even belong to their culture. y my skin is dark n i talk english n i cant understand mandarin very well den d chinese can talk bad to me from behind or worst in front of me? fuck u all racist. i wanto diao u mal&*@ians..

if i cant be wif her.. n after i take care of my family.. n dey all go wif their way.. get married n stuff.. maybe i will go to somewhre far.. where i can live by myself.. dunno do wat.. just act like relax.. even thou i onli have half of my life..

i think i gotta get back n start study.. n during holiday study again all religions..

it seems like i have sacrificed my interest in dota.. for d sake of ching yan.. d first sacrifice.. i am totally rusted in playing dat.. cant play dy..

i have many interest dat cant be fulfilled..
i like to play guitar. but no talent.
i like to play wushu. do beautiful performance. but no talent. everyting i do look ugly n i am a slow learner..
i like to take pictures.. but i dun have money to get a quality camera dat will fulfil wat pictures i wanto take exactly..
i like to train lian.. but it seems like i am d weakest in d community.. maybe my bro surpass me liao..
i wanto have more height.. but i am short..
i wanto have more money.. but our family oways be d victims of sick jealous bastards..
i wanto have a licence.. but my dad doesnt allow me to take one..
i wanto learn qi gong n inner energy.. but cant.. not allowed..
i wanto draw better.. but i dun have d chance to learn..
i wanto study wat i am interested in.. but i dun even have interest to study..
i wanto stop smoking.. but i dunno wat is stopping me from quitting..


till now.. i cant really do anyting better den others.. haih. noob.

y i like ching yan?
she can makes me laugh like how i laugh wif guys when dey make crazy jokes.. not like other gals.. dat just noe how to laugh..
she is cute.. n getting cuter day by day.. or minutes by minutes.. or second by second..
i like her skin colour.. its so damn.. i dunno wat to say. its very nice easy said.
i like it when she is very nice to me.. sporting..
but tis are d reasons dat i manage to think about after she asked me y i love her..

i dun think there is a reason to fall in love.. as long as its human.. n its a girl.. dat i fell in love to..

maybe i am not a grateful human being.. by posting tis.. but hey.. tis is ma blog.. i can write watever i wanto write..

I NEED A PUNCH BAG

FINAL is goatdamn near.. n i haven touch my book n i dun even noe when d exam start.. shit.. die lah..

bye bye. NO OFFENSE. i just feel like writing someting which are sensitive to some people today widout any reason. n i dun care. got people dun like? i dun give a damn shit. i am damn open minded. but i have my limits n my principles. I LOVE MY GIRL.

zhe ge libai, wo kan san ge dianying he wo de bao bei. clash of d titans.train2 dragon. haiyou daybreaker. hen hao kan. yin wei wo he yan qu kan ^^

yeah 1 b is like my di er de jia le. but nvm XD tis week wo men will start du shu liao.

haha. yeah i want train wo de hua yu. wo yao pikat ching yan de mama. i know i can!! i wan be successful n prove her family relative n all dat i am d best guy for ching yan!!

haih. but kemahiran berundng haven finish de.. d assignment i meant.. i no mood liao do any assignment. dis is all due to d damn reports n h.e. haih.

yeah. gang ayam contact me less liao. d chinese gang oso oni contact me if dey wnt sumtin from me. gang sabah. yeah. i oways wif d alfred lol. he teaches me wan guitar ^^ nice!!!!

i want master guitar.. but i need one singer.. i cant sing while playing guitar. i dunno y i am so suck. i should have learn d goatdamn bass since d beginning. haih. nvm lah. learn learn learn!!!!!!! dis week is d last week to play guitar like heck!!

my fingers. yeah. all become think n hard dy due to d guitar.. i like it XP

wo hen lao liao. wo bu neng memorize na ge wushu de pattern. san duan. nan quan. chang quan. all i forgot. even d che kong fan lol. now i am like a new student. fuckkk!!!!

shui bian lah. i just learn again. learn learn learn. we stop learning things oni when we die lol.

i wan be successful. but my term of succesful is by being able to travel to d place dat i want n being able to be wif d one i love. d ONE. not d two four or 3. damn retarded. wat d heck 2 4 3. it should be 2 3 4. but d most important is i have oni one. one God. one Parents. one 情缘。。。 i have oni one origin.. oni one planet.. one universe.. one brain.. one dick.. watever..

i am also will be satisfy when i can stop working n open a small martial art school or watever n teach d small2 kids da kong fu ^^ but yeah.. its mine.. mine aint going to satisfy others.. i might be happy.. wadabout those around me? haih.. humans are borned
not perfect... how d heck can i make everybody satisfy n happy oso? if there is love,sure there is hate.. haih..

yeah.. evryting dat i said will happen in reverse ^^ it suks. but i am somehow kinda manage to get maself used to it.. watever..

yeah once i crap,i cant stop. better i stop b4 i accidentaly write a novel or story book or worst encyclopedia of crap. not britanica but kimtanica.. bye

hurm. yeah. i finish most of my asignments. now can hang out in my fren's room dy. b4 starting to study nxt week. haish. n den finish exam. go back k.l. work. 2 month wont see her. wah sai. gonna miss her bad..

nowadays she is so damn bz. i was too ^^" but my bz phase done dy. haha. nvm. jia you lah to her.

i hate to do laundry. i hate it d most. among my routine,i hate it d most. laundry.

i am going to do my laundry. d effing laundry. but i duwan to do it. shit. asshole shirt. why cant u be clean all d time. damn.

haih. but anyway. gotta wash it lol. if not end up getting skin disease. n den my girlfren will leave me. wakaka!!

btw.. i dunno if i will go out from dis uni as a full wif quality de student. haih. d system of studies in malaysia university seems so suck. even d teacher love to do last minute shit. how d heck d student no follow? damn.

byebye for now. K<3y

yeah. finish h.e. good. wahhhh... so relief.. finish practical d odec one oso.. yeah.. oso finish mid term... yeahhhhhhh..

watched d train dragon watever.. its a very cute n funny movie!!! everyone must watch it!!

dis days my laptop got prob.. been using yan's laptop. her laptop is very cute. but got prob oso. too many virus. cant delete some more. freak virus.

i must master mandarin fast. n get rich too. go back k.l i will learn how do bisnes from my dad @_@

some people are very like.. care dis one how much n dis one how much. very stingy. everyting oso want count. their own frens oso want count. its like.. omg.. very suck one.. i dun mean my fren. i dun be fren wif tat kinda ren. its a fren of my fren.. i was like.. walaowei..

my frens do work or not d h.e one i dun care. i just give em full marks. d fucker oso i just give full marks. i dun care bout their marks. its their shit. fair. unfair. its their shit. it doesnt matter to me. wat i want is a good mark. their mark shui bian dem lah.

ok bb for now.

fuck

yeah FUCK. dats all i can say.

when i dun need to use my pendrive n laptop,both r working well. n when i hafta submit 3 major works next week,both goes nowhere. i feel like throwing my laptop down d sea.

i have a shit group too. as d leader,i hafta do most of d work. wat d fuck is tat? dats not leader. dats orang gaji. widout gaji. SO hai.

i dun care nemore. i hafta get my ass in a cinema. i dun care alone or not. fuck.

monday=cinema.

so many shit to be done.. haih.. even thou not as many as hers.. 加油 to both of us ^^

h.e. k.b. physics optic. mandarin. yeah. physics optic is d hardest one. others all r boring shit. i think i can finish all those other den physics in one day. but for d sake of my group members,i just do d work according to wat dey want ^^

h.e 70% finish dy @_@ yeah me n my roommate do almost do all the work. d fucker dat say i din do any @_@ wahsai hen fei lah dat guy. class oso never come want say other people. walawei.

but yeah XD nxt week can go out wif her!! wahooo!!! i like it　ＸＤ　

ｌａｌａｌａ　ｂｙｅｂｙｅ

My Drug

maybe i need some rehab.. maybe i need some sleep..
i got a new obsession.. i sein her everyday in ma dream..
wat u got gal its hard to find. i think about it all d time.
u fried my heart.
i just cant get u off my mind..
because ur love ur love ur love is my drug..
ur love ur love is my drug..
i wont listen to any advice..
i wont listen to any bad talks..
i wont listen to provocation..
i dun care wat people say..
i dun care wat how much i pay..
i get so high when i am wif her..
because ur love ur love ur love is my drug..
ur love ur love ur love is my drug..


=P

haih. getting busier. its slowly getting worst.. assignment from major course is suddenly given at any time..wif program.. study.. works.. omg.. got no time for fun dy. maybe i should get into my work mode dy whre i wont do anyting else til i finish ma work..
people lecturer frens parents all oso said dat uni life is easier den school n matrix. i totally disagree wif tat @_@

btw.. its been.. awhile since i go out wif her > < i want go out wif her!! want go cinemaaAA!!!!!! but if go out wif alot of burden being carried around is not nice too.. d burden will keep on bothering us.. so better if i finish my work first.. n let her finish her work first ^^

final is near.. d examination schedule can be read dy.. omg.. die ler..

huh. i want back k.l.

wat is d topic for dis post @_@

omg.. my writing skill is getting worst day by day.. since i read less literature book.. oni d book dat hanna gave me.. die lah like tis..

bye

OMG!!! i shouldnt have da dota.. i should have call <3 instead.. haih.. how suck am i.

i wont da dota again. i now formally announce wo de retirement from d dota world
one of d biggest burden...kemahiran berunding. acting on d stage. i hope everyting goes fine.. since i am oways suck on d stage..

but yeah she got act on d same stage too b4 dis > <>doesnt njoy it..at all.. i duwan her to do shit tat she doesnt njoy.. maybe i should talk to her boss..upline..downline..watever..

not like me.. i always fail in doing calculating stuff.. physics is just tooooooooo tough. but i am still going to do my best.. i must prove her mum tat i am d best guy her daughter will get.. just wait n c > < i not sure she if she is asleep now.. n i am worried.....she didnt tell me she wants to go to sleep ady dis time... T_T

哈哈！！我要write blog in mandarin. but i still not good enuf. so nevermind lah.

dis week she went to her dinner.. damn she looks gorgeous.. but to me she is gorgeous wid or widout makeup..
i prefer wdout makeup thou.. but nevermind. d most important thing is I LOVE HER! no one can steal her from me except if she allows d guy to do so..
i like d dress XD its so..like..nice ^^

dis is like d first time i took picture wif her ^^




oh. dis week. i am so like.. goatdamn chaotic.. my brain is full wif assignment test n stuffs.. until i dunno which to start.. so usually i just do random works.. but things just dont work randomly..

yeah. i miss so many prayers dy. die ler. omg. how d heck can i ask sumtin from God if i do no good deeds... so paiseh..

btw.. i wrote d blog since she asked me to write it today.. or she wont go to sleep.. wat d heck. so i write lah. she is very sot sot sot sot sot n made me sot over her thus makin me become twice as sot as her..

but yeah. i <3 her.

n yeah. i am busy. she is busy. everyone is busy. i wish we can go for a movie. i really2 wanto sit in d cinema @_@' craving for it.

omg.. busy busy.. tomoro go tanjung aru again..
just called my bestfren.. omg its like 3 months since i laugh like heck wif her..
now she is in love. wakakaka! she is a grown up now i guess!! WAKAKAKA!! didi didi! go for it! ask for aim's phone number! dun forget to invite me when u get married! wakakakaka!! very funny. i cant imagine.

i am totally in love.. deep love.. evryday getting deeper n deeper.. it was like.. good. when accidentaly touch her can feel d dup dap dup dap feeling..

but yeah i am a professional XD during training,she is totally my training partner!! cant be bias! XD

she is very geng now. no one can punch me n got feel pain. except her > < i meant no girls. dunno how guy's punches feel like. been awhile since i haven taste one.

but yeah. i got too many work. n i got my boundaries too. i cant go overlimit ^^ n i wont. i must respect her.

my responsilities arent to ruin her like other bastards always do to their galfrens. i am here to protect her.

byebye for now ^^

Omg.. i just start to love someone.. n i getting effing bz.. just like d sem1.. when d climax of d sem started.. its like.. so stressful. n shit keep on running in d brain.. n dis sem d challenge is more..
examples of d shit(s):
1.taekwondo competition
2.H.E as d effing group leader
3.taekwondo competition de ajk
4.K.R gotta train how na act. i am very suck in it.
5.mandarin.. so many test..
6.exam(SSSSS)
7.all those physics shit
8.i am not sure wat shit. its d physic group shit.
9.money shit.
10.gotta go here n there.widout a vehicle.n widout a single knowledge on how to handle one.at least if i noe how den i can borrow ma fren's motor.shit
11.d sekretariat CD.
12.one of d Pengarah for d sedaya program

it was like...OMG...i am so goatdamn tired..i cant sleep...

btw.. today is d day when i am going na have ma statistik midterm. n as usual me n ching yan will go study together.. but somehow got new rules or watever..i cant study outside until 12.30 @_@" wat d fuck? keselamatan? where is d security? fire dem lah so hai.
n den got people pregnant? damn fuck those "UNI" students. how stupid. there are alot of condoms for sale for God sake. u wanto diu someone's daughter n u dun even have money to buy a fuckin condoM? wat d fuck man. better u juz diu urself bitch.

yeah indeed today is one my most du lan day.. tx God still got God n Ching yan to cool me down..

oh yeah.. today is d day...i confess to her...de anniversary watever..

bye bye for now.

Mid term

haha. tomoro mid term cancel. i lovin it.
i want an effing dslr camera so tat i can take picture of every-God-Made beauties. human made....nahh.. not dat much.
alice said:i got a fren like u. he took 3 years to overcome dis. after he n her family even go to dinner together. just be patient k?
kim said in hear:i feel goatdamn motivated /seriously

haih. really. i totally in love wif her. seriously > < everytime see her i will feel like wanto hug her n fuse her body wif mine so she will stay wif me all d time in me. but hey dats too dragonball. i hafta take care of her if i want her ^^ i hafta be patient too. n i hafta work hard to show to her family dat i am gonna be an effing successful guy.

but hey. there were once ma dad said:motivation based on a girl proved dat u r narrow minded. after u get d girl,wat will motivate u den??! u must target success n success!! its for ur own good!!

i dun dare to fight of cuz @_@ but hey i said dis in ma heart:nah! anyting can be my motivation but not maself!! wat for i wanto be success if i will end up alone when i am old! dats totally useless wey!

but yeah.. i need to think of d 'other' world too.. i am a grown up.. almost 20 liao.. i must start to pray again...

i wanto learn how to play guitar. but it seems like i cant play it while singing. why???!! so suck!!

byebye for now

Lanc-ness

haih. dunno dat he is such a lanc guy. fuck him. i finish ma work den say i no do work. very so hai de. wat d fuck is wrong wid him. should i kill him. or should i let him beat me once n i beat him 10x? or should let it go just like dat. i think its better dat way. beating a low life like him will make me a low life too ^^

chingyan. wo de ai. tx God she console me @_@ if not. haih. dunno. he really should tx ching yan for being an indirect savior of him. hen suck wey dat guy. nvm him lah. some people r like tat.

i guess i hafta start being racist to d racist since its like there have no hope for not being one. but..i aint gonna be d same to em. so i wont ^^ WE R A MEMBer OF HUMAN RACE!!!! n human shouldnt fight. human should unite. fight d alien or watsoever. well dats not d thing. fight d alien is just nonsense.but if we unite,i pretty sure d world will be a better place...

gao xing

yeah i very gao xing now. everyday go see ching yan XD i am as happy as i dunno how to describe.

yeah as day goes by,she gets prettier day by day. she aint mine YET. but i will make her mine sooner or later > <

yeah yeah yeah.. yeah ... yeah... alrite... yeah yeah...usher usher..

actually i lost my creativity for dis whole week. i dunno wat to write in my blog. haih. maybe depression will drive me towards creativity. i must be depress. but it seems impossible when ching yan will make me lost my depression. haiyo. dunno lah. bye bye for now

kundsang

yeah been to kundasang. its nice n cold.d homestay is nice. i wish i can go there wif my love.it will be very2 nice.

Miss

miss my mum n dad.
miss my siblings.
miss ching yan.
miss awe.
miss dota.
miss good results.
miss ching yan.
miss ching yan.
miss ching yan.
miss 'D'.
miss shaolin.
miss sailormoon.
miss K.L.
miss the rain.
miss my house.
miss my 'Mi Ne'
miss my lrt.
miss PenyuRina.
miss motorcycle.
miss Lian de 老师
T_T

ok

ok. at last. i told ching yan wat i reallyt really feel. it feels good.as d thing dat i kept inside go out d. n hers too yet i aint sure if she feels good > < i really wish she does n can be wif me a.s.a.p and a.l.a.f.

actually i cant believe maself confessing > < i grew up in a kinda awkward community where those guys who do dis confession thingy is called geli and stuff2. so i feel geli2 too. but actually. its not dat geli2. its normal de.
tx Janice for makin it seems normal ...

ok. now holiday start.1week widout chingyan. omg. die. haih,goin to miss her bad T_T

给我

lol. today. so many people are goin back. tomoro,there will be more people goin back. haih. i will be sien like heck in here = =' even thou i goin out here n there,it aint gonna be dat nice.

malaysia. i think malaysia is d number 1 slowest country in d world ^^ d government love to take their time in doin their work. maybe i should make a new party or sumting called kilat. or watever dat is fast. maybe C. or maybe 3x10^8. as long as its someting fast. to destroy dat effing slow system,slow internet,n slow line,n slow everyting de malaysia's doing. it sucks.

ok.i must make my move. i dunno who is dat dude.but i dun care. i wanto be d dude. i hope i will be d dude in her heart. dats my BIGGEST hope for this sem. n if it is,i am pretty sure i going to stop smoking - -; since i will get a mightbe loyal companion. yeah for now cigarrettes are my most loyal companion. i wont stop. its d oni thing accompanying me outside if i go out alone. dats y it doesnt really matter for me to go out alone.

i miss ma mum n sister so much - -; haih. i c their picture ady make me want cry. but doesnt mattter. i will go back soon enuf. i aint dat.......pathetic. ok bb. goin to 1b.

Ok. i start to dunno wat to put as d titles. well. watever.

i juz got ma haircut. i dunno its nice or not. gonna wait for ching yan to tell me if its nice or not.

ptptn in ady. as i wish,d first thing i will do is spend time for maself. i bought ma favret korean drama series-east of eden. its nice. not as suck as those typical romantic kinda korean drama. no offense. n den i bought kitkat chunkies.get some chewing gum. n most important,get maself a KENT!!!!! yeah i got a kent!!!!!

i dun think i should go out wif girls no more. i should go out more wif guys. d oni girls i will go out wif is ching yan. yeah!!
byebye for now

doubt.

i doubt it. i dunno.haih.i too sux.why d heck ler.i must learn more.learn from my mistake.well at least i am no more as hot tempered as i was in matrix.i am so damn cool d.its hard for me to get mad.when i get mad i still can think t00.i aint rushing things.but take things too slow.when a problem becum serious,den i will try to overcum it.maybe because i oways be able to do so.

enuf shit. i must do more pumping.42 times is like shit.i did 60 b4. haih.

haih. found ma matrix kad.i love my pants. ma favret pants. tx for hiding my matrix kad.

yeah.maybe i should start to learn to forget too.things aint oways belong to me.its oways already.wat do i have. tx God i still have my cute sisters,siao siblings,n OMG HEN LOVELY parents. my mum. i miss her damn much T_T i am sick of eating in cafe cd. tx God got company. if i dun have company when eating..i dunnoo..maybe i really will turn siao..

actually..i dunno wat to write..but i wanto write..my feelings are confusing now..so i decide not to think about my feelings now. i control my heart wif my brain. no matter how slow d process of tranferring data from heart to brain workin,it will reach there n i will manage to decide wat to do..

going na hit d club for dis holidays. its ma first time. so i am kinda nervous. goin there wif ma pal kelvin.

going to kundasang too dis 16/2. i hope d ptptn money will come in so dat all ma plan are going to work juz fine.

byebye lah.i got laundry to be settled.

haih shit..

y lah - -; i dunno how to say. i damn down oso - -' undescribed feelings.
haih haih.. monday..usually we go eat togetha - -; but i dunno y..i wanto run back so fast..haih..
i want U not janice - -; she is my da jie. she called me bro too. no matter wat we do oso no feeling. but wid u,do everything oso seems difren.. haih..
dunno lah..should kick ma own ass or sumtin..sleep sleep sleep til degenerate n die - -; wat a gud way to diu myself huh. aiyah....shit..i not bad mood..juz down..wat is d difrens..i still can talk to people widout going to be angry even for some simple mistake ike if i am in d bad mood..juz dat i will talk less when i am down..suck..
tx God got dis block help me de..haih..if not..i dunno oso. maybe i will use d wall to write using my nails like those creepyspooky movies. wat d eff is dat.
why not belong to me..u belong to me..i want u oni..haih..

哈哈

ok. i am learning mandarin. but dat doesnt make me chinese - -; dat makes me feel more human. since chinese are human. n mandarin is one of their language. so its like..chinese=human. mandarin=human language. omg it becums chinese language. wat d heck. wrong eq. gotta derive again. who cares. its d language of human. in ma opinion,all languages need to be learnt. but sadly human's brain...somehow...are limited? i dunno. i should try it thou.

ok dat was bullshit. i am addicted to omg. another one. haih. i got a package from a fren xD full wif chocolate XD man i love chocolate n cravin for it. its been awhile siince my mouth get any chocolate.


i love u!! txq!!!!


ok anyway. went to d pesta cahaya wif janice. nice. i think.




ok d picture is retard since d ugly kim is inside. n d picture is....senget - -; so it sucks. doesnt match at all wif dat leng lui.

ok nvm dat. everytime i go out wif girls,ma frens will say dat i got galfren - -; d truth is i dun have any. i cant get any. i dunno how. n my brain is block by sumone dat duwan me. but i want her. haih.dizzy liao

i got alot of works. but in d same times i no workss to be done. i dunno wat d eff. should i dota instead? =/ dunno lah.

oh btw. i am somehow...not confuse. even thou janice oso go out wif me,i dun have any weird feelings to her. its noting much. just a go out wif frens. maybe i should call her kakak too.

oh btw. byebye. hope ma dad wont read ma blog ^^ if not i will be dead ^^"

omg

omg...die lah...i start to feel d weird feeling...omg...will i run away again...oh noz...please not dis time..haih

blind,secretive,n ego

。i somehow realized dat i am pretty much a person as stated above - -;
。i am blind. in d nite i cant c. but dats not wat i meant. i am blind.blind inside. cold. yeah.cold.but its more to act cold.n run from d facts.out of lack of confidence.suck. i juz gotta change.haih.even thou i somehow bz thinking on having a galfren,i never really got think seriously of a target or watever. i simply love d people around me now. i guess i gotta stop worrying about dis shit ^^
。secretive.yeah.i dun tell people much bout me i guess.i meant wat am i thinking n stuff.i cant tell anyting personal directly.it hafta go thru msn or sms or facebook or blog or watever. i cant say. its hard for to even give a goatdamn compliment directly to someone.wat d eff is wrong wif me. man i suck.
。haha. ego.i cant tahan people say i am weak or watever.i oways wanto win in an argue. but in d same time,some how my emotion is very weak - -; i give up very fast,i keep things inside,blah3. dats juz d sign of someone having an effing low e.q. yeah i read dat in a book. not simply a fact by mr.kim.
。d bottomline is,i gotta make some change on maself. ching yan might be able to help me. i contact wif her d most in ums.
。but despite all d suckness,i really2 cant tahan if someone said or do bad things to any frens of mine. if its a guy,i will juz simply go beat d guy no matter where i am at n where he is at. but ov cuz i cant go beat if d guy is in k.l or somewhere oversea. shit.
。being too cautious n protective really spoils things. i was like...involved in a i dunno-wat-kind of bet btw 2 frens. at first when she asked me out,iady start being so goatdamn cautious dat i cant sleep listing d possibilities of way to kasi kena me.i was like...wat...kim u r so goatdamn negative did u noe dat? haih. i didnt kena anyting dat day.i am very2 sorry for suspecting ya = =' even thou no one noes about me suspecting ya exept me,i still somehow feel guilty - -; i am pretty sure i wont be able to go out wif her again.
。lol who care anyway. even if i dun feel cautious,i prefer to go out wif ching yan ^^ cuz she oways sui bian2. so i have flexibility in going to place dat i want n in d same time got company. i have alot of frens to go out wif. but i prefer going out wif her ^^
。lol i going to write some more later.somehow i got back d blogging spirit.i gotta hit d bed now. 在建

2010

omg. its like...i dunno how long but since i update my blog. omg. i cant believe maself.
n i cant believe i am in sabah now - -; n there r so many things i cant believe too yet happening to me. maybe i look down on maself too much 0 0; omg i suck.

i am kinda addicted to omg now. so,dun mind dat.

btw,i got ma camera. its like 2 month ago but i juz update ma blog. so its counted as juz got. actually juz bought. its a cheap camera dat is bought during d pc fair. nice pc fair. i like u. there r so many things inside n 'things' too.
my camera is like..omg. cool in d morning n under d lite n everywhere bright. but when i am in d dark or in d nite,d camera is like...da bian i guess. da bian is shit. but its ok XD i prefer d morning den d nite. but i juz dun like afternoon. its d time i am most gloomy. omg. but i love taking picture but not d picture of maself ov cuz. i am too ugly to be a camwhore.

anyway,juz a...fyi,i am a member of human race. my eyes got no borderline of which race n dis n dat race thingy. for me those things r called culture. n watever culture i am interested in,doesnt meant i am belong to dat culture =/ so,please dun say i am trying to be dis n dat race blah3 crap like dat. it sucks for God sake.

2010...d year when i turn 20..turn adult...yet i dun think i can go out at nite - -; wat kinda adult am i. who cares. why wanto get out at nite if got nothing to do. omg. suck those all nighters dat act like if-dun-go-out-at-nite-surely-uncool. 2010. konon i wanna stop smoking. but i dunno - -; i cant believe maself widout cigarrete. dats somehow my most loyal partner. whereever i go,whenever i am stress,blah3,its oways be wif me. so cool. i like it. but hey. i dunno - -; so many people seems like praying to me ssayin dat i will die faster.



ok. my blog. my craps. i suck. so my craps suck. i am rushing to d drum training for d P.A.P now. so,bye bye. c ya later blog