gao xing

yeah i very gao xing now. everyday go see ching yan XD i am as happy as i dunno how to describe.

yeah as day goes by,she gets prettier day by day. she aint mine YET. but i will make her mine sooner or later > <

yeah yeah yeah.. yeah ... yeah... alrite... yeah yeah...usher usher..

actually i lost my creativity for dis whole week. i dunno wat to write in my blog. haih. maybe depression will drive me towards creativity. i must be depress. but it seems impossible when ching yan will make me lost my depression. haiyo. dunno lah. bye bye for now

kundsang

yeah been to kundasang. its nice n cold.d homestay is nice. i wish i can go there wif my love.it will be very2 nice.

Miss

miss my mum n dad.
miss my siblings.
miss ching yan.
miss awe.
miss dota.
miss good results.
miss ching yan.
miss ching yan.
miss ching yan.
miss 'D'.
miss shaolin.
miss sailormoon.
miss K.L.
miss the rain.
miss my house.
miss my 'Mi Ne'
miss my lrt.
miss PenyuRina.
miss motorcycle.
miss Lian de 老师
T_T

ok

ok. at last. i told ching yan wat i reallyt really feel. it feels good.as d thing dat i kept inside go out d. n hers too yet i aint sure if she feels good > < i really wish she does n can be wif me a.s.a.p and a.l.a.f.

actually i cant believe maself confessing > < i grew up in a kinda awkward community where those guys who do dis confession thingy is called geli and stuff2. so i feel geli2 too. but actually. its not dat geli2. its normal de.
tx Janice for makin it seems normal ...

ok. now holiday start.1week widout chingyan. omg. die. haih,goin to miss her bad T_T

给我

lol. today. so many people are goin back. tomoro,there will be more people goin back. haih. i will be sien like heck in here = =' even thou i goin out here n there,it aint gonna be dat nice.

malaysia. i think malaysia is d number 1 slowest country in d world ^^ d government love to take their time in doin their work. maybe i should make a new party or sumting called kilat. or watever dat is fast. maybe C. or maybe 3x10^8. as long as its someting fast. to destroy dat effing slow system,slow internet,n slow line,n slow everyting de malaysia's doing. it sucks.

ok.i must make my move. i dunno who is dat dude.but i dun care. i wanto be d dude. i hope i will be d dude in her heart. dats my BIGGEST hope for this sem. n if it is,i am pretty sure i going to stop smoking - -; since i will get a mightbe loyal companion. yeah for now cigarrettes are my most loyal companion. i wont stop. its d oni thing accompanying me outside if i go out alone. dats y it doesnt really matter for me to go out alone.

i miss ma mum n sister so much - -; haih. i c their picture ady make me want cry. but doesnt mattter. i will go back soon enuf. i aint dat.......pathetic. ok bb. goin to 1b.

Ok. i start to dunno wat to put as d titles. well. watever.

i juz got ma haircut. i dunno its nice or not. gonna wait for ching yan to tell me if its nice or not.

ptptn in ady. as i wish,d first thing i will do is spend time for maself. i bought ma favret korean drama series-east of eden. its nice. not as suck as those typical romantic kinda korean drama. no offense. n den i bought kitkat chunkies.get some chewing gum. n most important,get maself a KENT!!!!! yeah i got a kent!!!!!

i dun think i should go out wif girls no more. i should go out more wif guys. d oni girls i will go out wif is ching yan. yeah!!
byebye for now

doubt.

i doubt it. i dunno.haih.i too sux.why d heck ler.i must learn more.learn from my mistake.well at least i am no more as hot tempered as i was in matrix.i am so damn cool d.its hard for me to get mad.when i get mad i still can think t00.i aint rushing things.but take things too slow.when a problem becum serious,den i will try to overcum it.maybe because i oways be able to do so.

enuf shit. i must do more pumping.42 times is like shit.i did 60 b4. haih.

haih. found ma matrix kad.i love my pants. ma favret pants. tx for hiding my matrix kad.

yeah.maybe i should start to learn to forget too.things aint oways belong to me.its oways already.wat do i have. tx God i still have my cute sisters,siao siblings,n OMG HEN LOVELY parents. my mum. i miss her damn much T_T i am sick of eating in cafe cd. tx God got company. if i dun have company when eating..i dunnoo..maybe i really will turn siao..

actually..i dunno wat to write..but i wanto write..my feelings are confusing now..so i decide not to think about my feelings now. i control my heart wif my brain. no matter how slow d process of tranferring data from heart to brain workin,it will reach there n i will manage to decide wat to do..

going na hit d club for dis holidays. its ma first time. so i am kinda nervous. goin there wif ma pal kelvin.

going to kundasang too dis 16/2. i hope d ptptn money will come in so dat all ma plan are going to work juz fine.

byebye lah.i got laundry to be settled.

haih shit..

y lah - -; i dunno how to say. i damn down oso - -' undescribed feelings.
haih haih.. monday..usually we go eat togetha - -; but i dunno y..i wanto run back so fast..haih..
i want U not janice - -; she is my da jie. she called me bro too. no matter wat we do oso no feeling. but wid u,do everything oso seems difren.. haih..
dunno lah..should kick ma own ass or sumtin..sleep sleep sleep til degenerate n die - -; wat a gud way to diu myself huh. aiyah....shit..i not bad mood..juz down..wat is d difrens..i still can talk to people widout going to be angry even for some simple mistake ike if i am in d bad mood..juz dat i will talk less when i am down..suck..
tx God got dis block help me de..haih..if not..i dunno oso. maybe i will use d wall to write using my nails like those creepyspooky movies. wat d eff is dat.
why not belong to me..u belong to me..i want u oni..haih..

哈哈

ok. i am learning mandarin. but dat doesnt make me chinese - -; dat makes me feel more human. since chinese are human. n mandarin is one of their language. so its like..chinese=human. mandarin=human language. omg it becums chinese language. wat d heck. wrong eq. gotta derive again. who cares. its d language of human. in ma opinion,all languages need to be learnt. but sadly human's brain...somehow...are limited? i dunno. i should try it thou.

ok dat was bullshit. i am addicted to omg. another one. haih. i got a package from a fren xD full wif chocolate XD man i love chocolate n cravin for it. its been awhile siince my mouth get any chocolate.


i love u!! txq!!!!


ok anyway. went to d pesta cahaya wif janice. nice. i think.




ok d picture is retard since d ugly kim is inside. n d picture is....senget - -; so it sucks. doesnt match at all wif dat leng lui.

ok nvm dat. everytime i go out wif girls,ma frens will say dat i got galfren - -; d truth is i dun have any. i cant get any. i dunno how. n my brain is block by sumone dat duwan me. but i want her. haih.dizzy liao

i got alot of works. but in d same times i no workss to be done. i dunno wat d eff. should i dota instead? =/ dunno lah.

oh btw. i am somehow...not confuse. even thou janice oso go out wif me,i dun have any weird feelings to her. its noting much. just a go out wif frens. maybe i should call her kakak too.

oh btw. byebye. hope ma dad wont read ma blog ^^ if not i will be dead ^^"

omg

omg...die lah...i start to feel d weird feeling...omg...will i run away again...oh noz...please not dis time..haih

blind,secretive,n ego

。i somehow realized dat i am pretty much a person as stated above - -;
。i am blind. in d nite i cant c. but dats not wat i meant. i am blind.blind inside. cold. yeah.cold.but its more to act cold.n run from d facts.out of lack of confidence.suck. i juz gotta change.haih.even thou i somehow bz thinking on having a galfren,i never really got think seriously of a target or watever. i simply love d people around me now. i guess i gotta stop worrying about dis shit ^^
。secretive.yeah.i dun tell people much bout me i guess.i meant wat am i thinking n stuff.i cant tell anyting personal directly.it hafta go thru msn or sms or facebook or blog or watever. i cant say. its hard for to even give a goatdamn compliment directly to someone.wat d eff is wrong wif me. man i suck.
。haha. ego.i cant tahan people say i am weak or watever.i oways wanto win in an argue. but in d same time,some how my emotion is very weak - -; i give up very fast,i keep things inside,blah3. dats juz d sign of someone having an effing low e.q. yeah i read dat in a book. not simply a fact by mr.kim.
。d bottomline is,i gotta make some change on maself. ching yan might be able to help me. i contact wif her d most in ums.
。but despite all d suckness,i really2 cant tahan if someone said or do bad things to any frens of mine. if its a guy,i will juz simply go beat d guy no matter where i am at n where he is at. but ov cuz i cant go beat if d guy is in k.l or somewhere oversea. shit.
。being too cautious n protective really spoils things. i was like...involved in a i dunno-wat-kind of bet btw 2 frens. at first when she asked me out,iady start being so goatdamn cautious dat i cant sleep listing d possibilities of way to kasi kena me.i was like...wat...kim u r so goatdamn negative did u noe dat? haih. i didnt kena anyting dat day.i am very2 sorry for suspecting ya = =' even thou no one noes about me suspecting ya exept me,i still somehow feel guilty - -; i am pretty sure i wont be able to go out wif her again.
。lol who care anyway. even if i dun feel cautious,i prefer to go out wif ching yan ^^ cuz she oways sui bian2. so i have flexibility in going to place dat i want n in d same time got company. i have alot of frens to go out wif. but i prefer going out wif her ^^
。lol i going to write some more later.somehow i got back d blogging spirit.i gotta hit d bed now. 在建