blind,secretive,n ego

。i somehow realized dat i am pretty much a person as stated above - -;
。i am blind. in d nite i cant c. but dats not wat i meant. i am blind.blind inside. cold. yeah.cold.but its more to act cold.n run from d facts.out of lack of confidence.suck. i juz gotta change.haih.even thou i somehow bz thinking on having a galfren,i never really got think seriously of a target or watever. i simply love d people around me now. i guess i gotta stop worrying about dis shit ^^
。secretive.yeah.i dun tell people much bout me i guess.i meant wat am i thinking n stuff.i cant tell anyting personal directly.it hafta go thru msn or sms or facebook or blog or watever. i cant say. its hard for to even give a goatdamn compliment directly to someone.wat d eff is wrong wif me. man i suck.
。haha. ego.i cant tahan people say i am weak or watever.i oways wanto win in an argue. but in d same time,some how my emotion is very weak - -; i give up very fast,i keep things inside,blah3. dats juz d sign of someone having an effing low e.q. yeah i read dat in a book. not simply a fact by mr.kim.
。d bottomline is,i gotta make some change on maself. ching yan might be able to help me. i contact wif her d most in ums.
。but despite all d suckness,i really2 cant tahan if someone said or do bad things to any frens of mine. if its a guy,i will juz simply go beat d guy no matter where i am at n where he is at. but ov cuz i cant go beat if d guy is in k.l or somewhere oversea. shit.
。being too cautious n protective really spoils things. i was like...involved in a i dunno-wat-kind of bet btw 2 frens. at first when she asked me out,iady start being so goatdamn cautious dat i cant sleep listing d possibilities of way to kasi kena me.i was like...wat...kim u r so goatdamn negative did u noe dat? haih. i didnt kena anyting dat day.i am very2 sorry for suspecting ya = =' even thou no one noes about me suspecting ya exept me,i still somehow feel guilty - -; i am pretty sure i wont be able to go out wif her again.
。lol who care anyway. even if i dun feel cautious,i prefer to go out wif ching yan ^^ cuz she oways sui bian2. so i have flexibility in going to place dat i want n in d same time got company. i have alot of frens to go out wif. but i prefer going out wif her ^^
。lol i going to write some more later.somehow i got back d blogging spirit.i gotta hit d bed now. 在建